$(document).ready(function() {
  if($.browser.msie) {
    alert("You appear to be using a variant of Microsofts Internet Explorer. Please don't. It's utter rubbish and a massive security hole in your system, also it's not compliant with international standards and may or may not render this website properly. The author therefore makes no guarantees and no apologies if this site does not render in MS IE. I recommend that you use a non-rubbish browser such as Firefox, Opera or Chrome.");
  }
});